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TGIF: Down with Democracy! Nellie Bowles
Happy holidays from my mom’s house. I converted to Judaism years ago, which I try to use to get out of doing a lot of obligatory activities around this time of year, but my religious freedom has been largely ignored by my parents who insist I still “help cook” and “come on the hike.” But Christmastime will not curtail this column. Let’s get into it.
→ Ukraine wants to mobilize 500,000 more soldiers: The war in Ukraine is dragging on, nearing its two-year mark, and the Ukrainian soldiers that are being drafted to the front are getting older. Like, I don’t want to say a 50-year-old is an old man because I know I’ll get selfies of sinewy readers doing CrossFit, but let’s be real here. President Zelensky says Ukraine needs to recruit 500,000 more fighters, and this week The Wall Street Journal brings us a harrowing story of middle-aged men being yanked from their normal activities (hanging out, getting haircuts) and forced into heavy battle. One 47-year-old was detained in a draft room for two days before signing up: “Physically, I can’t handle this. I’m deeply disappointed that I’m no longer 20.” To get a lighter job, he’d have to pay a bribe but couldn’t afford it. I’m not a military expert, but if you’re detaining old men (again, nothing but respect, don’t yell at me) and forcing them into battle and saying you need 500,000 more of them. . . maybe it’s time to make a deal? I was shouted down at dinner the other day for saying this. I don’t want Europe to fall. But just. Feels like we’re losing a lot here? And we should keep some elderly Ukrainian men alive?
One other question: If Trump was a Russian asset, as I was told and truly believed for years, how do people explain Putin waiting until Trump was out of office to do his territory expansion plans? Doesn’t that sort of undermine that one? Too soon?
→ Speaking of expansion plans: The world has decided it’s remodeling season! China’s Xi told Biden that he’s planning on taking Taiwan pretty soon, just FYI. According to NBC News: “Xi told Biden in a group meeting attended by a dozen American and Chinese officials that China’s preference is to take Taiwan peacefully, not by force, the officials said.” Oh, they prefer to take the country peacefully. When I invade a nicer house down the block, I say the exact same thing. I come in peace to this ensuite master bath, no sudden movements. You bring war only if you say no.
My theory is that Trump was not a fearsome military thinker but just an erratic one, and world leaders could never be sure how he would respond to something, just as we could never be sure if it was “ten White House tweets about Roseanne day.” Anyway, Biden’s administration is more like *wink wink* China, you’re so naughty, bad boy! So everyone is announcing their land grabs before the election. Because if China takes Taiwan under a Trump presidency, he honestly could send them a bottle of champagne. Or he could announce nuclear war. We literally have no idea. Anyone who says they do is lying.
→ Global shipping disrupted by beloved freedom fighters: More than one hundred massive container ships have been rerouted to avoid sailing by Yemen, where Houthi militants are doing their best to destroy everything that passes through. It’s expensive for the U.S. to fight: naval missiles can cost $2 million, while Houthi drones cost a few thousand each, so the math gets weird fast. Now, I’ve noticed this before but it’s growing: Western Intelligentsia, or at least the Instagram Story Commandos, have come out strongly pro-Houthi, a take that is growing more confident this week. Here’s the chief executive of Flexport, a big supply chain logistics company that’s obviously impacted:
To understand why we’re all #StandWithHouthis, you can read this Houthi explainer in The New York Times: “People have hailed the Houthis as one of the few regional forces willing to challenge Israel with more than harsh words.” The first quote in the news story: “What they did has given us dignity, because they did this in a time when everyone was watching idly.” So beautiful. How I learned to stop worrying and love the Houthis!
In another piece, the Times calls the IDF the “Israeli occupation forces.” Once enough people noticed, they changed it online, without adding any note or correction. (H/t to journalist Lahav Harkov for noticing this one.)
The language and politics of fringe postcolonial studies seminars is now mainstream. They want to convince you that Israel is just a bad idea, a colonial concept, not a real country with millions of real people. Millions of Jews, if we’re going to get specific.
There’s a lot more TGIF behind the paywall you are about to hit. But good news for you: this week only, we’re offering a 25 percent discount on a yearlong subscription to The Free Press. And why stop at just one? Skip the scented candles and get your loved ones something much more stimulating this Christmas. Click here to take advantage of the offer. And now more TGIF . . .
Yesterday, U.S. officials arrested Ismael Zambada García, or “El Mayo,” cofounder of the violent and powerful drug trafficking organization the Sinaloa Cartel, and Joaquín Guzmán López, a son of its other cofounder. That other cofounder, Joaquín Guzmán Loera, or “El Chapo,” is already incarcerated in the U.S., as are another of El Chapo’s sons, alleged cartel leader Ovidio Guzmán López, and the cartel’s alleged lead hitman, Néstor Isidro Pérez Salas, or “El Nini.”
In a statement, Attorney General Merrick Garland said: “Fentanyl is the deadliest drug threat our country has ever faced, and the Justice Department will not rest until every single cartel leader, member, and associate responsible for poisoning our communities is held accountable.” El Mayo has been charged with drug trafficking and money laundering.
U.S. officials exploited rifts in the cartel to get Guzmán López to bring El Mayo in. The successful and peaceful capture of the two Sinaloa Cartel leaders contrasts with Trump’s insistence that the U.S. must bomb or invade Mexico to damage the cartels, a position echoed by Republican vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance and increasingly popular in the Republican Party. Mexico, which is America’s biggest trade partner, staunchly opposes such an intervention. Opponents note that such military action would do nothing to decrease demand for illegal drugs in the U.S. and would increase the numbers of asylum-seekers at the border as their land became a battleground.
Trump seems to think that governance is about dominance, but that approach often runs afoul of the law. Today the Justice Department reached a $2 million settlement with former FBI counterintelligence agent Peter Strzok and former FBI lawyer Lisa Page, who became the butt of Trump’s attacks after their work on the FBI investigation into the ties between the 2016 Trump campaign and Russian operatives. Trump’s Department of Justice released text messages between the two journalists. Today’s settlement appears to reflect that the release likely violated the Privacy Act, which bars the government from disclosing personal information.
Tonight, speaking to Christians at the Turning Point Action Believers’ Summit in West Palm Beach, Florida, Trump made his plans to become a strongman clear: “Get out and vote. Just this time. You won’t have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what: it’ll be fixed, it’ll be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians…. Get out, you’ve got to get out and vote. In four years, you don’t have to vote again, we’ll have it fixed so good you’re not going to have to vote.”
This chilling statement comes after Trump praised autocratic Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orbán in his speech at the Republican National Convention last week and then publicly praised China’s president Xi Jinping for being “brilliant” because he “controls 1.4 billion people with an iron fist.” It should also be read against the backdrop of the Supreme Court’s decision in Donald J. Trump v. United States that a president cannot be prosecuted for crimes committed as part of his “official duties.”
The Harris campaign reacted to Trump’s dark statements by ridiculing them, and him: “Tonight, Donald Trump couldn’t pronounce words [he mispronounced “landslide” as “land slade], insulted the faith of Jewish and Catholic Americans, lied about the election (again), lied about other stuff, bragged about repealing Roe, proposed cutting billions in education funding, announced he would appoint more extremist judges, revealed he planned to fill a second Trump term with more criminals like himself, attacked lawful voting, went on and on and on, and generally sounded like someone you wouldn’t want to sit near at a restaurant—let alone be President of the United States.
“America can do better than the bitter, bizarre, and backward looking delusions of criminal Donald Trump. Vice President Kamala Harris offers a vision for America’s future focused on freedom, opportunity, and security.”
Harris continually refers to Trump as a criminal in her speeches, but her campaign has taken the approach of referring to him and J.D. Vance as weirdos. On Tuesday, Minnesota governor Tim Walz said, “These guys are just weird.” Senators Chris Murphy of Connecticut and Brian Schatz of Hawaii recorded a video together about Vance’s “super weird,” “bananas,” and “offensive” idea that people with children should be assigned additional votes for each child, making their wishes count more than people without children.
As J.D. Vance continues to step on rakes, the “weird” label seems correctly to label the MAGAs as outside the mainstream of American thought. Today, Vance doubled down on his denigration of women who have not given birth as “childless cat ladies” but assured voters he has nothing against cats. In addition, a video surfaced of Vance calling for the federal government to stop women in Republican-dominated states from crossing state lines to obtain abortions.
Mychael Schnell of The Hill reported today that while MAGA Republican lawmakers like Vance, a number of House Republicans are bashing his selection as the vice presidential candidate. “He was the worst choice of all the options,” one said. “It was so bad I didn’t even think it was possible.”
“The prevailing sentiment is if Trump loses, [it’s] because of this pick,” another said, a sentiment that suggests Vance will be a scapegoat if Trump loses. Considering what happened to Trump’s last vice president after Trump blamed him for an election loss, Vance might have reason to be concerned.
Last night’s “Answer the Call” Zoom has now raised more than $8.5 million for Harris; the organizers thanked Win With Black Women “for showing us how it’s done.” Today the Future Forward PAC, which had threatened to hold back $90 million in spending if Biden stayed at the head of the ticket, began large advertising purchases in swing states for Harris.
Carl Quintanilla of CNBC reported that a week ago, those on a phone call of more than 400 people from Bank of America’s Federal Government Relations Team believed that a Trump victory was a “foregone conclusion.” Now that conviction is gone. “[T]here’s been a palpable sentiment reversal.”
The Harris campaign announced that it will launch 2,600 more volunteers into its ground game in Florida, a state where abortion rights will be on the ballot this fall, likely turning out voters for the Democratic ticket. The volunteers will write postcards, make phone calls, and knock on doors.
Today, Vice President Kamala Harris filled out the paperwork officially declaring her candidacy for president of the United States.
Notes:
https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/25/us/sinaloa-cartel-ismael-zambada-custody-report/index.html
https://www.texasstandard.org/stories/mexico-surpasses-china-us-biggest-trading-partner-exports/
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/04/10/gop-bomb-mexico-fentanyl-00091132
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/07/26/peter-strzok-lawsuit-settlement-00171498
https://www.vox.com/culture/363230/jd-vance-couch-sex-hillbilly-elegy-rumor-false
https://thehill.com/homenews/4793818-vance-vp-trump-house-republicans/
https://ballotpedia.org/Florida_Amendment_4,_Right_to_Abortion_Initiative_(2024)
X:
Acyn/status/1817007890496102490
Acyn/status/1816993825929461860
Victorshi2020/status/1817024584425619737
JoshRaby/status/1815889888207892619
EJDionne/status/1816923327048613906
shannonrwatts/status/1816882297595150756
JacobRubashkin/status/1816859976444338479
KamalaHarris/status/1816998711056052463
EdwardGLuce/status/1816814101823131803
carlquintanilla/status/1816848322050642373
ArtCandee/status/1816935834500657185
NewsHour/status/1816964874120974349
Oh, no, it’s the sister again, for another slow news week. Let’s get to it.
→ Biden dropped out: Six years ago emotionally, but technically this past Sunday, Joe Biden dropped out of the presidential race. He did it via X and promptly threw his support (and cash) behind Vice President Kamala Harris. Then he got Covid and hunkered down in Delaware—or depending on what hooch you’ve been drinking, died and was reanimated so he could appear before the cameras on Wednesday to address the nation. Joe’s family, including Hunter, sat along the wall of the Oval Office as he spoke. The president talked about the cancer moonshot, ending the war in Gaza, putting the party over himself, and Kamala’s tenacity, as Kamala’s pistol dug ever-so-slightly harder into his back. Right after, Jill, the First Lady of passive aggression, who apparently wanted to outdo her heart emoji, tweeted a handwritten note “to those who never wavered, to those who refused to doubt, to those who always believed.” I respect a First Lady who stands by her man and her energetic stepson. A First Lady who sees the high road way up there and says to herself, “If they want us out of here so bad, they can clean out the fridge and strip the beds themselves!”
→ Kamala is brat, Biden is boots, please God send the asteroid today: I’ve learned the hard way—and by that I mean my parents once asked me what “WAP” meant—that certain things should never be explained with words. It’s not that it’s impossible, it’s just that it embarrasses everyone.
That’s how I feel about the whole Kamala-is-brat thing. Brat is a good album about partying and getting older and having anxiety that was released earlier this summer by Charli XCX. But it’s since been adopted by too-online and very young people as a personality, and by Kamala Harris’s campaign as a mode to relate to those very young people. Her campaign is leaning into the whole green look of the album to try and win over Gen Z, and generally recasting her many viral moments—“You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?” “I love Venn diagrams” “What can be, unburdened but what has been”—as calling cards. It’s like when Hillary went on Broad City, only this time more cringe.
And now we have Jake Tapper and Greg Gutfeld grappling with the “essence” and the “aesthetic” and overall vibe of brat girl summer. We used to be a serious country. We used to make things.
Here’s the thing about Kamla: she is hilarious and campy, but unintentionally so. Any goodwill that her goofy dances or weird turns of phrase garner should be considered bonus points, not game play. Was there ever any doubt that Fire Island would go blue? We’ve been debating whether Kamala’s meme campaign is a good move for her prospects in the Free Press Slack, and here I’ll borrow from my older and wiser colleague Peter Savodnik: “There is nothing more pathetic than an older person who cares what a younger person thinks is cool.”
→ Boomer behavior: While Kamala’s campaign is being run by a 24-year-old twink with an Adderall prescription, J.D. Vance’s speechwriter seems to be a drunk Boomer who just got kicked out of a 7-11. Vance, appearing this week at a rally in Middletown, Ohio, riffed, “Democrats say that it is racist to believe. . . well, they say it’s racist to do anything. I had a Diet Mountain Dew yesterday and one today, and I’m sure they’re going to call that racist too.” Crickets. Horror. Major “Thanks, Obama” energy. There was also a bit on fried bologna sandwiches and a lot of “lemme tell you another story.” The guy is 39 but sounds older than Biden.
Fresher, 35-to-60-year-old blood is exactly what we’ve been begging for. Let the Boomers boom, let the Zoomers zoom. Kamala and J.D.: act your age.
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