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If John Fetterman Can Wear Shorts, Why Not the Senate Pages? Suzy Weiss
In the fall of 2012, when I was sixteen, a big, brown box arrived at my parents house. In it were four or five rough blue suits and half a dozen white button-down shirts. Because the material of the suits was made—and God knows how—out of recycled plastic bottles, a thick cardboard tag warned that should the fabric catch fire while worn, one should immediately remove it instead of trying to douse the flames, lest the fabric harden back up into plastic and meld to the skin.
There was also a name tag in the box: “Senate Democratic Page Suzy Weiss.”
The suits would be my uniform for about five months, during the spring semester of the year that I spent on Capitol Hill as a page—a glorified messenger and water pourer—in the Senate chambers.
The suits in the box weren’t the only mandated part of our look. We were expected to have a “neat, conservative hairstyle,” and if you were so uncouth as to have long hair, your hair tie had to be black. Shirts were to be buttoned to the neck. Prominent jewelry, face piercings, midriff-baring tops, spaghetti straps, and short skirts were verboten, even when we weren’t working.
“Your child should understand the uniform is not about fashion; it is about being appropriately attired to work for the United States Senate,” an email to our parents read. Ms. Roach, the principal of the tiny boarding school we’d all be attending, also sent a helpful list of permissible shoes, but the more accurate term is hunks. Their descriptions, “Clarks Un Sound Black Leather” and “Skechers Work Caviar Black Waxy Victorian Leather” should give you a sense of why not a single legislator, nor anyone else, hit on me during my time in the nation’s capital.
The point was for all of us to look like mini versions of the elder statesmen we waited on.
But this week, Senator Chuck Schumer, the majority leader, announced a loosening of the Senate dress code. The new rules no longer require business attire, which for men means a suit and tie and for women means something equally formal. Now, if Amy Klobuchar wants to show up in a tube top, or Marco Rubio wants to take a pair of Crocs for a spin while voting on the debt ceiling, there’s nothing stopping them.
All of these changes are meant to accommodate the junior senator of my home state, John Fetterman, who prefers hoodies and gym shorts—even at work. (I attended a wedding he officiated; he was in flip-flops.) Last week, he presided over the Senate Chamber in shorts and sneakers, looking for all the world like he got lost on the way to Chipotle. But look closely at the footage and you’ll see my fellow foot soldiers lined up on a step near the dais: a collection of pages in their uniforms, their white shirts still buttoned to the neck, their black shoes ever sexless.
Pundits are declaring the dress code changes the end of order. Joe Manchin apparently told Fetterman that not wearing a suit “degrades” the chamber. Susan Collins has been more easygoing and said that she might show up to work in a bikini. Josh Hawley, a Republican, arrived in jeans. Elizabeth Warren thinks this is all a big distraction, but told a reporter she’s cool with the dress code change, “as long as people cover all the private parts.” Reader, I shuddered.
It’s been more than a decade since I set foot in the hallowed chambers in my blue plastic suit and my black cotton socks (the only color of socks that was permitted). My view is that Fetterman looks ridiculous. But I mostly just hope they give the pages—currently still under codes a mullah would think are a little much—some leeway, too.
I was there in 2012, long before committee hearings became the most exciting shows on TV. The idea that a QAnon Shaman would one day beat his shirtless chest on the dais of the chamber included multiple concepts that didn’t exist yet. It was also seven years before the Senate followed the House’s dress code changes and allowed for sleeveless tops and open-toed shoes, which I’m sure Ms. Roach viewed as the equivalent of turning the legislature into a Hooters.
The Senate, I thought, for the most part, was a highly subsidized assisted living facility. Without aides gripping their elbows and opening doors, half the senators would walk straight into walls and keep walking. Still, Al Franken was especially nice and brought cookies his wife made for us and Dianne Feinstein gifted her page a beautiful silk scarf at the end of the term. John McCain once terrified a page by asking him for a full cup of vodka while on the Senate floor, as a joke.
“Pages who understand that their role in the Senate is that of employees in positions of service will adjust most quickly,” wrote Roach, in that early email. As such, we didn’t think about what we looked like because we all looked very bad. But given the rules against ever leaving the dorm unchaperoned, consuming any illicit substances (or wearing t-shirts that promoted the consumption of illicit substances), hooking up, or really having any fun at all, we focused a lot on what we ate, which was a lot.
At some point someone discovered that the ten-dollar per diem loaded onto the debit cards we were issued for lunch was really more of a suggestion. Nothing would happen if you went over the limit. So I started ordering egg and cheese croissant sandwiches from the small, subterranean commissary on my way up to the chamber every morning, and before long it showed. Tuesdays meant caucus lunches—aides hustled Republican and Democrat senators into big wood-paneled rooms to have lunch together. The chocolate cake that we helped ourselves to after the lawmakers filed out gave meaning to the phrase “a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.” And the candy desk did not help.
In short, I did not feel awesome in my plastic suit. But considering this was D.C., and the day-to-night pencil skirt was in, and everyone had two Blackberries crammed into their palms, there wasn’t much to look at by way of fashion. I remember clearly when Rhode Island’s Sheldon Whitehouse pointed to his black slip-on Puma sneakers and eagerly informed another lawmaker, “These are only ninety-nine dollars.” For those hoping that the change in dress code will translate to Capitol Hill hallways becoming something of a red carpet, I regret to inform you that Chico’s is considered elegant in that town.
There was one shining sartorial light. And her name was Mary Elizabeth Taylor. Mary Elizabeth, the page minder on the Republican side’s cloakroom, brought it every damn day. Tweed skirt suits with gold buttons, black dresses and pumps, tailored red blazers. Even when she came into the Senate antechamber to yell at us for being too loud, we were in awe. It’s no wonder Twitter sustained a collective crush on Mary Elizabeth during the Gorsuch hearings.
Not everyone can pull off a look like Mary Elizabeth. At least, not in real life. For that, thankfully, we have AI art, which in the past few days has given us the gift of Kyrsten Sinema looking like Mary Poppins, Ted Cruz rocking a Margaritaville look, and Rand Paul in nothing but a red robe. At least online, it’s Casual Friday forever.
But if all of the rules are going out the window, at least throw the pages a bone and next semester, let them wear some brown socks.
Suzy Weiss is a reporter at The Free Press. Her last feature was about traditional Catholic priests who are raging against the Pope.
If you missed Kat Rosenfield’s piece on ‘Patriot Act’ comedian Hasan Minhaj’s emotional truths and real-life lies, you can read it here.
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Yesterday, U.S. officials arrested Ismael Zambada García, or “El Mayo,” cofounder of the violent and powerful drug trafficking organization the Sinaloa Cartel, and Joaquín Guzmán López, a son of its other cofounder. That other cofounder, Joaquín Guzmán Loera, or “El Chapo,” is already incarcerated in the U.S., as are another of El Chapo’s sons, alleged cartel leader Ovidio Guzmán López, and the cartel’s alleged lead hitman, Néstor Isidro Pérez Salas, or “El Nini.”
In a statement, Attorney General Merrick Garland said: “Fentanyl is the deadliest drug threat our country has ever faced, and the Justice Department will not rest until every single cartel leader, member, and associate responsible for poisoning our communities is held accountable.” El Mayo has been charged with drug trafficking and money laundering.
U.S. officials exploited rifts in the cartel to get Guzmán López to bring El Mayo in. The successful and peaceful capture of the two Sinaloa Cartel leaders contrasts with Trump’s insistence that the U.S. must bomb or invade Mexico to damage the cartels, a position echoed by Republican vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance and increasingly popular in the Republican Party. Mexico, which is America’s biggest trade partner, staunchly opposes such an intervention. Opponents note that such military action would do nothing to decrease demand for illegal drugs in the U.S. and would increase the numbers of asylum-seekers at the border as their land became a battleground.
Trump seems to think that governance is about dominance, but that approach often runs afoul of the law. Today the Justice Department reached a $2 million settlement with former FBI counterintelligence agent Peter Strzok and former FBI lawyer Lisa Page, who became the butt of Trump’s attacks after their work on the FBI investigation into the ties between the 2016 Trump campaign and Russian operatives. Trump’s Department of Justice released text messages between the two journalists. Today’s settlement appears to reflect that the release likely violated the Privacy Act, which bars the government from disclosing personal information.
Tonight, speaking to Christians at the Turning Point Action Believers’ Summit in West Palm Beach, Florida, Trump made his plans to become a strongman clear: “Get out and vote. Just this time. You won’t have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what: it’ll be fixed, it’ll be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians…. Get out, you’ve got to get out and vote. In four years, you don’t have to vote again, we’ll have it fixed so good you’re not going to have to vote.”
This chilling statement comes after Trump praised autocratic Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orbán in his speech at the Republican National Convention last week and then publicly praised China’s president Xi Jinping for being “brilliant” because he “controls 1.4 billion people with an iron fist.” It should also be read against the backdrop of the Supreme Court’s decision in Donald J. Trump v. United States that a president cannot be prosecuted for crimes committed as part of his “official duties.”
The Harris campaign reacted to Trump’s dark statements by ridiculing them, and him: “Tonight, Donald Trump couldn’t pronounce words [he mispronounced “landslide” as “land slade], insulted the faith of Jewish and Catholic Americans, lied about the election (again), lied about other stuff, bragged about repealing Roe, proposed cutting billions in education funding, announced he would appoint more extremist judges, revealed he planned to fill a second Trump term with more criminals like himself, attacked lawful voting, went on and on and on, and generally sounded like someone you wouldn’t want to sit near at a restaurant—let alone be President of the United States.
“America can do better than the bitter, bizarre, and backward looking delusions of criminal Donald Trump. Vice President Kamala Harris offers a vision for America’s future focused on freedom, opportunity, and security.”
Harris continually refers to Trump as a criminal in her speeches, but her campaign has taken the approach of referring to him and J.D. Vance as weirdos. On Tuesday, Minnesota governor Tim Walz said, “These guys are just weird.” Senators Chris Murphy of Connecticut and Brian Schatz of Hawaii recorded a video together about Vance’s “super weird,” “bananas,” and “offensive” idea that people with children should be assigned additional votes for each child, making their wishes count more than people without children.
As J.D. Vance continues to step on rakes, the “weird” label seems correctly to label the MAGAs as outside the mainstream of American thought. Today, Vance doubled down on his denigration of women who have not given birth as “childless cat ladies” but assured voters he has nothing against cats. In addition, a video surfaced of Vance calling for the federal government to stop women in Republican-dominated states from crossing state lines to obtain abortions.
Mychael Schnell of The Hill reported today that while MAGA Republican lawmakers like Vance, a number of House Republicans are bashing his selection as the vice presidential candidate. “He was the worst choice of all the options,” one said. “It was so bad I didn’t even think it was possible.”
“The prevailing sentiment is if Trump loses, [it’s] because of this pick,” another said, a sentiment that suggests Vance will be a scapegoat if Trump loses. Considering what happened to Trump’s last vice president after Trump blamed him for an election loss, Vance might have reason to be concerned.
Last night’s “Answer the Call” Zoom has now raised more than $8.5 million for Harris; the organizers thanked Win With Black Women “for showing us how it’s done.” Today the Future Forward PAC, which had threatened to hold back $90 million in spending if Biden stayed at the head of the ticket, began large advertising purchases in swing states for Harris.
Carl Quintanilla of CNBC reported that a week ago, those on a phone call of more than 400 people from Bank of America’s Federal Government Relations Team believed that a Trump victory was a “foregone conclusion.” Now that conviction is gone. “[T]here’s been a palpable sentiment reversal.”
The Harris campaign announced that it will launch 2,600 more volunteers into its ground game in Florida, a state where abortion rights will be on the ballot this fall, likely turning out voters for the Democratic ticket. The volunteers will write postcards, make phone calls, and knock on doors.
Today, Vice President Kamala Harris filled out the paperwork officially declaring her candidacy for president of the United States.
Notes:
https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/25/us/sinaloa-cartel-ismael-zambada-custody-report/index.html
https://www.texasstandard.org/stories/mexico-surpasses-china-us-biggest-trading-partner-exports/
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/04/10/gop-bomb-mexico-fentanyl-00091132
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/07/26/peter-strzok-lawsuit-settlement-00171498
https://www.vox.com/culture/363230/jd-vance-couch-sex-hillbilly-elegy-rumor-false
https://thehill.com/homenews/4793818-vance-vp-trump-house-republicans/
https://ballotpedia.org/Florida_Amendment_4,_Right_to_Abortion_Initiative_(2024)
X:
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ArtCandee/status/1816935834500657185
NewsHour/status/1816964874120974349
Oh, no, it’s the sister again, for another slow news week. Let’s get to it.
→ Biden dropped out: Six years ago emotionally, but technically this past Sunday, Joe Biden dropped out of the presidential race. He did it via X and promptly threw his support (and cash) behind Vice President Kamala Harris. Then he got Covid and hunkered down in Delaware—or depending on what hooch you’ve been drinking, died and was reanimated so he could appear before the cameras on Wednesday to address the nation. Joe’s family, including Hunter, sat along the wall of the Oval Office as he spoke. The president talked about the cancer moonshot, ending the war in Gaza, putting the party over himself, and Kamala’s tenacity, as Kamala’s pistol dug ever-so-slightly harder into his back. Right after, Jill, the First Lady of passive aggression, who apparently wanted to outdo her heart emoji, tweeted a handwritten note “to those who never wavered, to those who refused to doubt, to those who always believed.” I respect a First Lady who stands by her man and her energetic stepson. A First Lady who sees the high road way up there and says to herself, “If they want us out of here so bad, they can clean out the fridge and strip the beds themselves!”
→ Kamala is brat, Biden is boots, please God send the asteroid today: I’ve learned the hard way—and by that I mean my parents once asked me what “WAP” meant—that certain things should never be explained with words. It’s not that it’s impossible, it’s just that it embarrasses everyone.
That’s how I feel about the whole Kamala-is-brat thing. Brat is a good album about partying and getting older and having anxiety that was released earlier this summer by Charli XCX. But it’s since been adopted by too-online and very young people as a personality, and by Kamala Harris’s campaign as a mode to relate to those very young people. Her campaign is leaning into the whole green look of the album to try and win over Gen Z, and generally recasting her many viral moments—“You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?” “I love Venn diagrams” “What can be, unburdened but what has been”—as calling cards. It’s like when Hillary went on Broad City, only this time more cringe.
And now we have Jake Tapper and Greg Gutfeld grappling with the “essence” and the “aesthetic” and overall vibe of brat girl summer. We used to be a serious country. We used to make things.
Here’s the thing about Kamla: she is hilarious and campy, but unintentionally so. Any goodwill that her goofy dances or weird turns of phrase garner should be considered bonus points, not game play. Was there ever any doubt that Fire Island would go blue? We’ve been debating whether Kamala’s meme campaign is a good move for her prospects in the Free Press Slack, and here I’ll borrow from my older and wiser colleague Peter Savodnik: “There is nothing more pathetic than an older person who cares what a younger person thinks is cool.”
→ Boomer behavior: While Kamala’s campaign is being run by a 24-year-old twink with an Adderall prescription, J.D. Vance’s speechwriter seems to be a drunk Boomer who just got kicked out of a 7-11. Vance, appearing this week at a rally in Middletown, Ohio, riffed, “Democrats say that it is racist to believe. . . well, they say it’s racist to do anything. I had a Diet Mountain Dew yesterday and one today, and I’m sure they’re going to call that racist too.” Crickets. Horror. Major “Thanks, Obama” energy. There was also a bit on fried bologna sandwiches and a lot of “lemme tell you another story.” The guy is 39 but sounds older than Biden.
Fresher, 35-to-60-year-old blood is exactly what we’ve been begging for. Let the Boomers boom, let the Zoomers zoom. Kamala and J.D.: act your age.
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